After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
