OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
