It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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