Whod you bang
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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