They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
