The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
