Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
