i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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