New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
