I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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