If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
