I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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