Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
