he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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