I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
