Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
