I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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