Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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