dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
