It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
