so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pooping to opera.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
