Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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