So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
