ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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