my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
