THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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