I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Enjoy the penises
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize