U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
