I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize