dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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