Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize