We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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