I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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