dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
