I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
