im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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