I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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