Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize