I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
