I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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