if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
