So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
