You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
