i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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