arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
