So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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