You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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