Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
