Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My life is pants optional.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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