So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
smell my finger.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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