No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
