She just used a chaser for red wine.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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