is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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