I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
