That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
