Can Purell be used as lube?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
