You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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