I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
