I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
