the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
