she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
