...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
