Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
