They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
